Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
