During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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