can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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