after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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