can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
