Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
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