fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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