found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
