I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
