I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Text me some of your sweat
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
