I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
