Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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