Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
