just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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