google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
