He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
