wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
