True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize