glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
