i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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