Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
