You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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