I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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