i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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