Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
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Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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