Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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