I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize