**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
