But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
last night I used snow as a chaser
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
