Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
