the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
