in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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