If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize