I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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