You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
