Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
