i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
