This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
