Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
