i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
