I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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