If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
