is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
