Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience

Fav 35 6793 1941
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(504): View more from Louisiana

there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now

Fav 40 9633 1773
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(417): View more from Missouri

My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.

Fav 28 1457 6056
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(312): View more from Illinois

the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses

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(303): View more from Colorado

Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.

Fav 8 3732 1290
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(785): View more from Kansas

They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.

Fav 6 2570 873
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(716): View more from New York

So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.

Fav 2 492 568
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(515): View more from Iowa

We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.

(816): View more from Missouri

I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.

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