what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
