No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Randomize
