I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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