Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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