So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
