chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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