Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
They are going to name an STD after you.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
