Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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