Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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