yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
