I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
