i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
