Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
