tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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