Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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