Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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