my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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