My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
