frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
