I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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