I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
