so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
