I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
