i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
